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MP3 Captain Pigheart - Captain Pigheart's All Washed Up Adventure
1 MP3 Songs in this album (7:47) !
Related styles: Spoken Word: Audiobook, Spoken Word: Comedy, Mood: Funny
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Captain Ignatius Pigheart presents his tales of mirth and misadventure on the pirate seas.
He battles sea monsters, love, the damned British and the frightening incompetence of his crew.
His crew are far from the worst of his problems. He seems worryingly limbless and less than knowledgeable about the spinnakers and directions needed to make the Good Ship Lollipop and The Grim Bastard less dangerous.
Nonetheless, the misfit crew of such charmers as First Mate Billy No Mates, Monty McBuboe (the leprous chef), Hamish McMuffin, Manky Eye Joe, No Hands Mick and Herr Doktor Gunther Garment add their own special risks and opportunities to every sallying forth.
Every adventure brings new injury or death to an already beleaguered crew. Will it be the savage Caribbean Sea Mongoose, the zombies, the Sirens, the gigantic turtle or the sparkly lights in the sky that kill ''em first?
Who knows - read all the stories to find out what''s happening in the exciting world of Captain Pigheart, pirate, adventurer and lover.
In the All Washed Up Adventure, the captain reels from losing his crew and ship into a world of opium addiction, merkin weaving and fights against a perverse nobility for freedom and his mates. He discovers some excellent synonyms for ''merkin''.
A short excerpt:
"I awoke, with me beard crusty, to the sound o’ folk scrunchin’ along the beach, jabberin’ in an aggravatin’ sing-song. I concluded they were simple folk but as they seemed eager t’offer me shelter and sustenance I withheld me urge to slap ‘em. I explained me circumstances, bein’ unjustly cast adrift an’ of me heroic wranglin’ o’ the sea beastie. ‘Tis possible me stained garb lessened the effect somewhat, for they presented me with a tufty nether-wig. At the time I knew not what it were, an’ explained I’d no need of a pet. Aarr, it took a number o’ explainin’s t’impress its purpose an’ their profession upon me before I accepted their gift. Gaargh, a drink would’ve been more welcomin’, though it were handy for layin’ down me head."
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