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MP3 Tina Murray - Building An Atmosphere
6 MP3 Songs in this album (26:31) !
Related styles: SPIRITUAL: Praise & Worship, SPIRITUAL: Inspirational
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Details:
In January 1984, during a panic attack before singing in a nightclub in Maryland, Tina received Jesus as Lord and Savior. After this conversion experience, Tina began attending Rhema Christian Center in Washington DC.
Later in 1984, in response to the leading of the Holy Spirit, Tina returned home to Virginia and joined the church she attended as a child, Mt. Calvary Baptist Church in Catharpin. There she served on the choir and in the children''s ministry.
After a few years she followed her calling as an evangelist and joined Unity Christian Outreach, where she became a licensed minister under the leadership of the late Rev. Henry Colter originally of Bastrop, Texas. It was here that the honor was bestowed upon Tina to be a full-time worship leader. During her tenure at Unity, she also served in two other leadership roles, one for the Youth Ministry and the other for the Women’s Ministry. Tina has since partnered with Living Faith Church in Manassas, VA, where she is a member of the worship team. She also serves as part of the Women’s Life worship team and has led the wedding ministry. Tina is a graduate of Living Faith Ministry Training Center where she has graduated at both the Certificate and Diploma levels. She is currently working toward her internship through the Living Faith Church.
As a seven-year survivor of physical and psychological abuse, Tina has a deep and abiding compassion for abused women. She has ministered to incarcerated women, aiding them in finding employment and starting a new life when returning back to society. The Lord has also graciously afforded Tina the opportunity to mentor women abroad.
On the home front, Tina has the joy of a loving relationship with her husband Johnny, the honor and excitement of being mother to their six children: Dalyn, Urian, J.B, Daniel, Christian and Joshua as well as the ultimate honor of being grandmother to Trinity, all of whom are happy to be her loving support team.
Tina''s greatest gifting are moving in the prophetic, teaching, exhorting, and most of all worshiping. Through the years Tina’s desire and longing to worship God and be in His presence has become inescapable. She believes God has called her to create an atmosphere where the He can come and introduce Himself, abide and build His holy structure Tina’s passion for the living Word of God is ignited as she enters in, leading us into a realms of worship using her very unique and very real style…
Currently, Tina is focused on building Project Infusion, for the purpose of uniting, reuniting, unifying and restoring people to God, in God and with God through music and song.
My Story:
The Lord prompted me to release a CD and to put my heart and testimony in it. This project is to be used as an instrument for the Holy Spirit to draw people to Himself. He has given me grace to share a part of my testimony with you. I pray blessing upon you as you journey to know the Father. Father I pray the anointed power of Your Son Jesus, be upon the recipients of this testimony and that You plant the same desire you planted in David, to want to know You better and know the very essence of Your being.
Tina Past… In the early 1980’s I began to really desire to fulfill a void in my life. I was eighteen years old ready to take on the world and become a “star” and didn’t know the importance of knowing when and how to share my heart, because at that time my heart was pure and I was quite naïve and open to well…”whatever”.
After graduating high school in 1981, I moved to the Carolina’s for about a year, then moved back to Virginia, not realizing that it was a set up and that God was drawing and causing me to take notice of the call He had placed on my life. As I arrived home from a long train ride from South Carolina, I knew that there had to be more than what I was experiencing in my young life. I had done almost everything I wanted to do during my life . Remember now, I’m only 18 years old but I had traveled and done quite a bit even by that age, but still I sensed a significant void. I always had this huge desire to sing. I was in my heart of hearts, a singer. I was going to sing, no matter what… My desire was to sing and express myself in such a way that would touch the world, so I very blindly went after what I thought was my destiny only later to find that what I actually was doing was being led to my destruction.
On a cold Saturday morning, I saw a commercial on T.V. advertising for singers. So I auditioned and was accepted to be a nightclub singer in Washington D.C and surrounding areas. Being accepted was a great surprise to me because a part of me wanted to fail. I later learned that I I had become conditioned for failure and this could have been yet another excuse not to become successful.
I pursued life in the fast lane and was having all kinds of fun doing drugs and drinking. Because my life style was ‘fast’, I didn’t have time to realize how lonely I really was and how I had become accustomed to being reckless with my safety, seemingly not to concerned if I lived or died. But inwardly terrified to die because I wasn’t really sure what was on the other side. I remember going to seedy and dangerous places to get drugs.
One particular night, 2 friends and I were just sitting around and we started getting up-tight because we wanted to get high and none of us had any drugs, so off we went to get some. We were walking in an area where we were sure we could get some drugs. We approached a street corner where this kid (maybe 12 years old or so), was selling drugs. We told him we were trying to cop and he said that he had just sold out but he knew where he could get more if I would drive him there.
Watch God… My spirit said noooooo, but because I only fed my flesh, guess who won that battle! So we went for it, and ended up in a neighborhood that was mostly condemned buildings. Some people still lived there though, and what we saw there has stayed with me and still does but for the right reasons.
Well the young man said give me your money an I will go in and get the stuff. Within 5minuets the young man comes running out of the building with approximately 10 men chasing him! He jumps in my car and yells please drive off! Okay now… Watch God here. The men surround my car with one man standing in front of the car with a gun pointed at my head , ready to shoot if I tried to pull off. But God… I found out later that this gang had been looking for this young man in my car! Now I’m crying out “Jesus…”. The leader of the gang approached my window, his head in and said, “you’re not from around here are you? You don’t look like us;” I believe he saw Jesus when he looked at me. Then he said, “Go and don’t come back, this is no place for you.” I’m thinking I would never see my family again. But what happened confirmed the Word of God when He says He judges the intent of your heart. He knew I didn’t want to be there and I didn’t want to die either. My God… My Savior… thank You.
From this experience I went back to my monotonous life and mindset of just waiting for the next high…
I begin to have an ungodly desire to have a man in my life. Two weeks later I got what I thought I wanted but it was not at all a man that God wanted to give me. After getting really high one night there came a knock at my door that would change the course of my life. I made my way to the door, opened it, and beheld the finest human being I had ever seen!
Let’s just say that I wasn’t looking my best that night (actually, I was quite a mess). Strangely he didn’t seem to mind. He acted as if I was the answer to his prayers. Later to my surprise I found that he was actually on a mission from the enemy!
As our relationship progressed, I soon had given him full access into my life. I had opened the gates giving him permission to basically come and go as he pleased and it would be up to me to shut the gates of access as well.
I instantly fell in love with him, partly because I was so lonely and also because I was so desperate for attention. Couple that with my low self esteem issues and I was powerless to resist his affection or even to think straight about this relationship. Those endorphins were loosed in my body and love was in the air, don’t cha know! Whew!! With him being so handsome and smooth, I readily and willingly opened my heart. We continued to spend a great deal of time together and our bond deepened.
I was still singing in the nightclubs but something very strange had begun to happen. I started having frequent panic attacks. During this time I had been tricked into going to bible study in the back of our home base night club. We were talking about God and the Holy Spirit and His works but yet I was still falling deeper and deeper for this tall, dark, handsome man from nowhere.
At the night club, we had begun working on a celebration song feast. By this time I had worked my way up through the ranks of the organization and was very known by the founders. I was entrusted with assisting in organizing a very big, high profile event. There would be many well known important people from the industry in attendance. We were planning to wear our finest dresses and sing our very best songs. It was important that we gave an impressive performance.
But that night at the performance something seemed to be out of sync. You see, I had begun to getting the truth of God’s word which was causing me to sense that something was not quite right with my relationship with this man. As I shared my feelings abut this he began to be more and more controlling. He wanted me to stop going to the bible study. He began keeping close tabs on me and didn’t want me spending time with my family and friends.
My man decided to come to the performance wrong the one person I wanted to be there was not there and he had no clue who God was,
My time was nearing for me to go onstage… I began having a panic attack. The two women who ran the bible study saw what was happening and whisked to me room in the back and began to telling me over and over again all this stuff about Jesus, asking me if I knew Him and if I had ever asked Him to come live in my heart. I responded, “Oh yeah, I know He hung on the tree right?” (As you’re reading this I imagine you might be saying, “Huh? Did she really say that? Please tell me didn’t say that?” But I sure did! They hadn’t gotten to giving your life to Christ yet in bible study! Then one of them asked if I wanted Him, ‘Yes… I do.” , I replied.
Instantly the fear of the unknown was gone, the panic attack was gone. In a few moments I made my way the front. They called my name to sing. I stood to sing the song “Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Lose”, but by the time I got to the second verse and couldn’t sing any more. Surprisingly, I began to speak about what just happened to me in the back room! I began to confess and repent to God right there on the stage! I confessed about the drugs abuse and everything else that I had been doing that I knew wasn’t godly and then told them that this would be my last night performing at any nightclub.
God had come into my world and in an instant He healed & delivered me right there in the midst of my out of control situation. I left the club that night never to return.
After leaving the club my funds began to dry up leaving me with the decision to move back to Virginia from Maryland. Even as I was out of the night club scene there remained the issue of this man that I was still in love with AND had been living in physical, mental and verbal abuse from him for a couple of years by this time. I thought I was hiding the marks and thus hiding the embarrassment but there was a spirit of shame that followed me all the time.
It was during this time I lost the most, dearest thing to me in my life. I lost my first child as a result of the abuse. God later gave me her name. It’s Hannah… I was far enough in the pregnancy for them to know that it was a girl. This is for you to Hannah, my sweet…
You would think that after that things would have changed. Well they didn’t. It got worse. The abuse continued. On and on it went. I became pregnant again. Things were even more complicated after the arrival of this beautiful, healthy baby. I found that I was trying to get from her the love I so desperately needed and wasn’t getting. But that wasn’t filling the abyss that was in my heart. Eventually, I had shut down, not connected to anyone, not even the precious gift of life in this little baby girl.
I cried out to God saying I should have stayed out there in my former life. Why did I come in only to be abused and still have a meager existence, full of emptiness and pain.
Yet He drew me to Himself and I began to shut my self up in the word of God. I began to hear His sweet calm voice in the wee hours of the night… in the fog and dew of the early mornings as I was waking up.
It seemed that the more I tried to hide the abuse, the deeper my fear went. The closer I got to God, my abuser became blatantly cursing God and praising and lifting up satan! Yes, he openly confessed his adoration of satan!
Around this time God gave me Psalm 91 and told me to stay in it and by the direction of the Holy Spirit I would meditate on it day and night. The more I meditated, the angrier this agent of satan got! I said, “Lord, When? Where? How? He said, “stay in it and continue singing My praises.”
Yet, I remained in this awful, twisted, stinking relationship. I got pregnant with my next child out of fear for my life. After his birth I made my way back to church, confessing for backsliding. How many of you know that it doesn’t matter what state you’re in God will meet you precisely where you are! Ask me how I know!!
When I did that I felt in my spirit that I had shaken hells very foundation. I heard the voice of satan echoing and saying, “Oh you’ve done it now. I’m going to destroy you and your whole family and whatever you think the call on your life is will not be fulfilled.” But I kept speaking Psalm 91, …”a thousand shall fall at my side, and ten thousand at my right hand but it shall not come nigh me or my dwelling”, (meaning my family). I began to see manifestations of demons coming and going at will and my abuser began to speak death over my life and how satan’s way, is the only way to go.
The very next Sunday as I was on my way from church, the Lord spoke to me and told me not to go in the house at this time. I had finally gotten the strength and grace to tell this man, “no more! get out in the name of Jesus!” And he left, but not until after he tried to take my life and kidnap the baby.
But God… He is our way of escape.
I said in a prayer, “Father, if this man is not the one for me… please… you have my permission to move him out of my life forever… my love for him is not going to change him…
When I got home, he was sitting at the kitchen table with death in his eyes. His eyes were very dark and menacing. The Lord had told me not to go in the house and to go to my girlfriend’s house instead (she lived on the floor above me). God told me, “If you go in your house he is going to try to kill you.”
Well I went in anyway… Praying… Do I need to tell you what happened? Exactly what the Father had told me was going to happen! My thing was not to let him know that God had already told me what the deal was, so after seeing his dark mood, I told him I needed to get something out of my car. Instead of going to my car I ran up stairs where my dear friend lived. She was a fanatic about keeping her front door locked but wouldn’t you know that this day when I turned the door knob, the door opened and before I could finish dialing 911, he was standing right there in the doorway of the bedroom I had run into, shouting and telling me that on this day, he was going to kill me. The police came within seconds it seemed and arrested him.
That was over 20 years ago. I haven’t seen him since that day.
However a few weeks later, he called me and told me he wanted to tell me some things. He confessed that he had been actually practicing witchcraft and in fact is a confessing warlock and had been for quite sometime. That’s where he got the power to control me and keep me in fear. He told me how much he hated me and that he had failed at trying to destroy me. He told me that he had been sent to destroy me and that he would have to pay for not succeeding in my destruction.
He got into witchcraft after going to jail a long time before he met me and became connected with a man who was involve in it. This warlock had given him a ring of a skull and snake and they had shared a blood cutting ceremony and this covenant was still in effect. He made this phone call from jail. He had gotten busted for drugs. The very drugs he used to drug me at times. He had tried to kill someone else and was going to prison for that too.
As he is telling me all of this, I began praying in the Spirit recalling the word God and all the teaching I had received on worship. All of these things I would need to be saturate myself in for next phase of my life.
Many years passed… One day I got a phone call that would rattle me to my core. By now I was a happily married woman, pregnant with my fourth child. Let me tell you, the enemy doesn’t give up trying to destroy the children of God. But Jesus said, these that have been placed in my hand cannot be plucked out!
A relative of this man called and said, “Tina, you need to go to the doctor and be tested for HIV because he is dying of full blown Aids and he said he knew that he was HIV positive when he was with you.
My entire life came to a complete stop. My heart felt as if it had sunk into my gut. My bones felt as though they were vibrating out of control, I believe my knees actually knocking together... A harsh voice whispered… “Your world is ending…”
Another voice rose from deep, deep within me. He said, “NO weapon FORMED AGAINST YOU WILL PROSPER!” He continued on saying, “NO PLAGUE WILL COME NIGH YOU OR YOUR DWELLING”
My voice began saying, “Thank You Father that YOU didn’t give me the spirit of fear, but of love, power and a strong well balanced mind.”
If I had HIV this would mean that my entire family would cease to exist. NO! NO! NO! All the things He had told me to meditate on He bought back to my remembrance HALLELUJAH!!!
If I had of believed the lie I would not be able to tell you that. As the enemy kept saying and throwing HIV in my face God said it will never stand. God said this is not unto death and the HE is the giver of life, and He came to heal and provide abundant life!
He said baby girl, when you gave Me your life, it became Mine. And My blood became your blood, and My blood is incorruptible and cannot be contaminated, you are healed and whole in Me.
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